FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
St. Peter says, "Well Forrest, It's certainly
good to see you. We have
heard a lot about you. I must inform you that
this place is filling up
fast, so we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone.
The tests are fairly short, but you need to
pass them before you can
get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, St. Peter. I was
looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about
any entrance exam. Sure hope
the test ain't too hard. Life was a big
enough test as it was."Here is
the first question: "What days of the week
begin with the letter "T"?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest returns the next day , goes up to
Saint Peter and says he's
ready to answer the exam questions. Saint
Peter says "OK, now that you
have had a chance to think about the
questions, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one how many
days of the week begin with
the letter "T"? --- that'd be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims.
"Oh, Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but ... you do have a
point though, and I guess I
didn't specify, so I will give you credit for
"How about the next one?", asks St. Peter. "How many
seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder", says Forrest, "but I
thunk and thunk about that
and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve!
Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with
twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:
January second,February second, March second......".
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
you're going with this.
And I guess I see your point, though that
wasn't quite what I had in
mind, but I'll give you credit for that too.
Can you tell me God's first name ?"
Forrest replied, "Andy".
"OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I
guess I can understand how you
came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the
world did you come up with the name Andy as
the first name of God?"
"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest
replied. "I learned it from the song.....
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY
TELLS ME I AM HIS